I wish I was smarter. I'm happy I faced some of my fears this afternoon though. Gah, why am I not smarter?!?!

I haven't posted in here for awhile! A lot has happened since my last real posts. Yesterday I just had the urge to write in here again. I'm really good I think at hiding feelings and keeping it cool..but that is probably what caused me to have a rough weekend. Things are better now though.

I have "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Glee cast playing on repeat. It is most certainly fitting my mood!!! I can't wait until I "get what I need." I am waiting for the day! PLEASE O PLEASE. come soon. I don't know if my spirit can take it. Well it can, it just hurts. I work so hard.

I need to study hardcore again. Still have another exam and then it's rotations week! I pray everything will work out. I have to say though that Five Guys and Super Wal-Mart made the day nice in the end.

I SUCK. :(

So the other day I actually got my car titled and registered in Maryland. It was a BIG pain in the butt! The people at the MVA are ridiculous..like they're stupid. Gah. But I got everything taken care of. It's SO strange having Maryland license plates. I'm kind of sad I changed the license plates now. Kind of like, gee, why did I do that? Haha. At least I still have the CA license plates. I also don't stick out so much with the CA plates, but I already miss them being on my car haha.

This morning I tutored some high school students from some inner city schools here in Baltimore. I don't think they're learning the material really well. Like I was helping out with Algebra II and like the girl was saying that her teacher gives them full credit for answers that are close to the exact answer. So they don't even have to get the right answer..Idk maybe it's just for this assignment, but still, they should just learn it correctly the first time. But it was a cool experience, I'll probably tutor more often. It makes me feel not useless haha

Today when I went grocery shopping I think I pulled a muscle in my back. It must be all those gallons of water I bought and the crappy shopping cart. My back hurts still...

I also went with a friend to Ikea but before that we drove to my rotation site. It was so CREEPY because it doesn't look like your usual hospital. It was like really deserted, eerie and yeah. But I was happy I didn't go by myself. I found out where I need to go though so at least I'm set with that for Monday. It was also raining a lot close to Ikea. Like it was hard to see the road..scary. But I can't get over the fact that the trees are SO PRETTY HERE!!

Tonight I saw a bunch of Baltimoreans dance to Thriller at the Hippodrome theater! I guess a group of people signed up and have been practicing the dance. Haha It was a last minute thing I decided to do and it was pretty cool. I liked the costumes. Maybe I'll dress up for Halloween? Hmm I don't think so! haha.

I realized that I hung out with like 4 different groups of people today. I got some ish work done. I'll get more work done tomorrow :)

I'm happy Cal won by a lot today! Go Bears!

I wish this cough and congestion would go away! Oh I also made some Allen cookies the other day :) They're good, but I need to stop eating them or else I'll get fat haha.

I'm sad that the week off is over!

Yeah, I have like a million things running through my head

These past two days have been pretty nice. Yesterday we had our group presentation for the disease state project. I think it came together in the end so that was good. Then I watched a lot of the pre-recorded lectures -_-. They make me so sleepy. I also made chicken adobo for the first time without parental supervision! haha. I think it turned out well, but I still can't really taste my food because of the sickness. Grrr.

Today I went to class and then afterwards I went to the MVA (Maryland's DMV) with some friends. I was bummed because I didn't have the title to my car since my dad kept it in the bank in SD. Since I didn't have the original copy (I brought a scanned version my dad sent), I couldn't register my car. But I did get my Maryland driver's license! I'm sad that I had to part with CA license but I guess the day had to come for that. My dad sent the CA title of my car overnight, so hopefully I'll get it tomorrow so that I can take care of this business. now really is the best time to take care of this stuff and I just want to get it over with. I'm happy though that getting the driver's license didn't take long at all. Wednesday is definitely a good day to go to the MVA haha. I was pretty productive today, I'm preparing for the storm that will be coming in the future.

Glee was funny tonight. Thong song in Glee! haha. When the teacher busts out his dance moves, it always surprises me haha. He's a really good dancer. I like the Rachel and Noah/Puck pair.

I'm still coughing like crazy. I think a blood vessel in my brain is going to burst from all the coughing. I hurt from all that coughing. I feel like I'm in the last stages of the sickness. I can't wait until I'm done with this last stage filled with lots of boogers and phlegm haha. It will be nice not to cough everywhere. Oh! The lady at the MVA got mad at me I think because I coughed in front of her. I covered my mouth, but I guess I could have covered better haha. I felt kind of bad but I can't help it! I also can't wait to stop being sick so that I can taste my food again.

Last week was crazy and I was so happy by the time it was over. It was rough all the way up until 8 pm Friday night. This weekend was the first weekend that felt like a weekend. It's mainly because these 2 upcoming weeks are rotations weeks for the first years. My rotations are next week. But in the meantime, there's plenty to keep me busy! They posted all these pre-recorded lectures that we're responsible for. Then there's all the other things that I've been neglecting. There are also some assignments here and there. I'm just happy that there are no quizzes or exams though I have to say.

This past weekend I was still sick but definitely not as bad as last week. I just have a gross cough and stuffy nose. Boogie and phlegm galore haha. I'm so tired of this sickness!! But Saturday was nice because I just took care of errands and cleaned up stuff. I also had fun with some friends eating at a Korean restaurant and then we had yogurt. Yum Yum. Sunday I went to church and tried to take care of some things. I was so tired this weekend though. I got a lot of rest but then I was so sleepy. it might be because of the sickness. At night I watched Couples Retreat! The movie was cool, it's always nice to watch movies. It was funny and cute, I felt like there was a lot of dialogue. I'm not raving about the movie but it wasn't bad.

Today school was pretty empty. It's kind of weird with all the people gone. I think it kind of sucks that there's all these lectures going on and how people need to catch up during rotations. It's like a break from school but it's not. I also got my flu shot today! The first time in many years. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to get it because I've been sick, but I got it anyways. It was annoying because I was waiting for a long time, but I found out that If I just waited closer to the door then I probably would have been seen sooner. Grr. Oh well, at least I was able to cross that off my to do list. Throughout the day I watched the pre-recorded lectures here and there and worked on some assignments. I'm getting really annoyed with the prof that I have to keep watching. haha.

I'm so happy that Cal beat UCLA this weekend. Woot! I didn't see the whole game but I saw like the first half online. That was awesome football playing. Keep it up Bears! Too bad that the Chargers lost tonight. Man! I don't know what's wrong with them. The only good thing about the game was that I got to see San Diego. I miss home. I want to go home.

Today (Oct. 20) is my mom's birthday! Happy Birthday Mom!!

This past weekend I got really sick :( I don't know, some people think I had the flu but I'm not sure. I did not feel good at all! My whole body was sore, I had a headache, sore throat and cough, and congestion. I also had a fever but I think on Sunday night I broke my fever because I woke up drenched in sweat. It was crazy. Oh I was also freezing the whole weekend. I wasn't working my heater correctly at the time so I was pretty bundled up haha. My neighbor^3 was so nice because she made me soup one night :) Ah but I also lost my appetite and I don't think I've fully regained it yet. I've only been eating soup-like foods for the past few days until tonight because I exhausted my whole soup food supply haha. But yeah, I feel better...my cough is more gross and I'm a bit more congested though but my body doesn't hurt. Tonight I don't feel as good as I did earlier today though. This whole time being sick, I wish I was at home so that my mom could take care of me haha. There was one point where I couldn't clean up after myself so my apartment and belongings were all over the place. I had no energy. I was soo weak. I do have my energy back now, but I think that my body could use more rest still.

Today was my crazy day with 5 quizzes, the biochem presentation and my lab practical. I hope that they all went well! The presentation went fine I think. I was concerned about my uncontrolled cough during the presentation but I didn't cough while speaking. But since I was preventing from coughing I know my throat wanted to give out a bit but as the presentation progressed, my voice stayed more solid. Studying was hard this weekend though being sick. Hopefully everything will work out though. I've also been doing more stuff for the pledging. Man I can't wait until this week is over. I still have an exam on Friday. But next week is the first week in like 2 months where we don't have a quiz or a test because people are going on rotations. But for now, I have a lot of studying to do for the exam on Friday.

It's starting to get realllly cold in MD!

It was nice to get the group essay completed and submitted a few hours before the deadline, but then shortly after, I found out about another group project that is due in 1.5 weeks. Totally had no clue about it!! Not good news. Hopefully it won't be too bad to do because we probably won't touch the project until next week since there are a lot of other crazy things happening this coming week. Just when I got one thing crossed off my to do list, I had to add another one. -_-

Tonight there was a big/little dinner. It was fun! The food was pretty good and it was nice talking with everyone. We even played heads up 7 up. I haven't played that in a while :)

I wish my big pimplin' would go away...I don't know what's up with that. haha

Man, I did like most of the work for my "group essay" assignment. I'm just wondering, do the other members in my group care? I feel like they could have helped out more or at least responded to my emails! I swear, if I have to make the references section too, I am going to be like what is going on!?!? Not cool. It's pretty much done now that I worked on this group assignment by myself.

KY stuff was fun tonight. Scavenger hunt was cool, pretty physical and it made me sweaty hahaa. I'm happy I got my big! :)

I'm always tired!! I've just been studying a lot lately because today I had an exam in pchem and then I had the quiz in abilities lab. This is my chill week too! But I will need to resume the hardcore studying tomorrow because I'm still thinking about how nuts next week is going to be..ahh. There's never a break from all these exams and quizzes. Anyways, the pchem exam was, I don't know! I hope it went well! I was so tired...I hope I answered correctly and got a good grade. PLEASE!! I was tired during lecture but I still crammed for class. I was so happy when my friend got me coffee <3. It was good :) I also had to attend something to plan for future classes. So that's yet another thing to think about.

During lab I tried to do a better job than usual since I JUST found out that we have a lab practical next week in aseptic technique IV dispensing and community pharmacy dispensing. You have to get 100% to pass so hopefully that goes well. I made some mistakes..gah! One was a really stupid mistake. I will need to sleep a lot next Tuesday night because that Wednesday is going to be absolute nuts. I've said that a billion times but it's so true.

After my long day I totally pigged out. But afterwards I made the unwise decision of running shortly after. I really felt like running but my stomach didn't like that too much ahhaa. I also saw glee which made me laugh hahaa. The boys dancing and energy was funnier to watch haha!! Mash up!

My mom called me today and asked me again if I'm crazy or going crazy. She really sounded concern like seriously. I mean, I don't think I'm going crazy? I've just been busy. But yeah I think she thinks that I'm going crazy and that I'm lonely, but I don't think either is the case. I hope not at least haha. There's just a lot going on..

I felt tired the whole day today but that just made my two rounds of coffee taste even better <3. I still have lots to review for my exam and quiz on Wed..but then I'm starting to think about next week and am thinking I should start on stuff for that? I don't know! Hope everything works out. School wasn't too bad today and then afterwards I I recited some stuff that's clogging my brain in order to get sigs...
My brother sent me a picture of my mom on the phone. It was really cute and funny because she was holding home-grown fruits and vegetables. haha. I caught a glimpse of my house back home and it made me miss home!!! It was also weird because at 4 pm here, I felt like it was 1 pm. I kind of feel lost in time or something. Weirdd.

I have a lot to study. Also have a few assignments to do. Never ending...sad that I think this week is chill-ish just because we have just 1 exam, 1 quiz, and 1 assignment due. I think I need to work faster. Next week will be nuts. Besides studying I went to church and exercised. I saw most of the Chargers game. I had to turn it off for a little bit and then when I started watching again I was surprised to see how many points the the Chargers were able to score in the 4th quarter. I got really excited because I thought that they were going to be able to tie the game. That was hopeful. Talk about a little too late! Ohh Chargers...sigh. So none of my teams won this weekend :/ Hopefully I'll win something this week..maybe good grades?

I can hardly keep my eyes open right now and I'm getting one of those sleepy headaches. Anyways, this morning I woke up at 5 am to volunteer at a diabetes walk for KY. It was pretty cool. The inner harbor was really pretty and the weather was really nice outside. I also talked to a lot of people and learned new things. I ran some quick errands afterwards and then got some yogurt with friends :) I'm still trying to find better yogurt but the one I had today will have to do for now still. I realized that I have LOTS to study for my exam this week..and in the future. No end in sight still. Oh well, one week at a time..at least my apartment is clean because I cleaned it tonight :) haha

Unfortunately Cal lost to U$C. Darn, not even close. A fight wasn't even put up! Gosh, what happened to Cal!? Geez, I hope the Bears get out of this wack funk that they're in and start scoring points and winning some games again! 2 bad weeks in a row. The atmosphere in Berkeley probably sucks big time right now, especially with all those rude U$C fans over there, probably bragging and being rude to people there. Yuck, that was not a nice game to watch. Come on Bears! Do work!

Had another exam today in PDA (principles of drug action). Hopefully I did well..I don't know -_-. Afterwards I took care of some pledge stuff and sat through all the classes. There was a weird little 1 hour break between one of the classes and a friend and I got some food at a pub..but we didn't drink! haha.

Later this afternoon I went to the Arunda Mills area in Hanover, MD, which isn't really far at all! It seems like there's a lot of stuff over there. The theater there was nice, it was like called the egyptian or something and it did look egyptian indeed! It also reminded me of a hotel. We watched the movie Fame. The movie was fine, nothing like amazing haha. But it was pretty entertaining, especially after having a week like this past week. There were a lot of corny parts in it which made me laugh, but I still like corny stuff haha. But yeah, the story line was kind of weird..or it was just like a compilation of people's stories and what happened to them when they went to this performing arts high school. I liked some of the music in it. Kherington from sytycd was in it and she had a very small part and her acting was funny b/c it wasn't that great haha. I have to say that the movie made me miss playing the clarinet and the piano! It kind of reminded me of all those auditions and performances I did back in the day. I miss those days...when everything seemed perfect. Wish they still existed. Afterwards we ate dinner and then I headed back. I finally exercised..felt unhealthy because I haven't been eating the healthiest foods and also because I haven't had time to exercise lately. Felt good!!! Especially since I received something and I'm not so happy about it. I suck. It's kind of unbelievable...gah. Moving on...

Today was the first day where we didn't have lecture! It's not as awesome as it sounds because I spent the whole day cramming for my exam tomorrow..didn't even start studying for this exam until late last night, when I was already exhausted from my long day yesterday...I'm actually thankful for the joint quizzes from last week, b/c if we didn't have those quizzes then I would have been really behind in reviewing for my exam tomorrow..but then again, I didn't have much time to review everything today and I didn't study as many things as I would have liked....my brain is just feeling saturated. Hopefully the exam will go well tomorrow! pleaseeeee

On another note..I hope I'm not catching some of that sickness!

I'm so tired.

First I woke up early (but I do love the mornings) and then went and took my biochem exam at 7:30 am. I feel pretty good about it..hopefully my grade will reflect that! After the exam, I crammed knowledge into my head for abilities lab right after the exam and during 4 straight hours of lecture. The lectures were a bit painful and of course I was starving. For lunch I crammed some more info and the quiz was alright I think...hopefully that went well too. Abiltiies lab today was alright...it was actually really funny when we played Jeopardy. Well I didn't like how I was being ignored b/c I don't think my team would have lost so badly if the TA would have realized that I was raising my hand first with the right answer in mind..ahaha but it's all good. I probably will never forget what hipaa stands for hahaha. SOAP notes were okay..I'm not sure if I filled it out correctly.

And just to my luck, I got stuck doing patient counseling again and was evaluated. I thought other people were going to get the chance to counsel a patient but instead they had a group of us who did it last time, do it again. Just my luck. Last time I really wanted to prepare more for my next time, but I didn't think that my next time would be so today, especially since there are people who haven't done it at all. Anyways, this time around the counseling went a lot better than the first time that I did it. So that was good! It's not so bad and once I know more about the medication and what to say with 100% confidence, then I think it will definitely be a lot better.

After my long day of school, my day lasted for an even longer amount of time because of pledge stuff . . . . . . . . .

Sometimes I wonder why....anyways, I realized that I spent 13.5 hours straight on campus today. Ahh. I wasn't going to watch GLEE tonight b/c I need to study, but I did to make myself feel better from my rough day. GLEE did make me feel better!!! But now I am back to cramming for PDA since our exam is on Friday. There is NO end in sight!

I have an exam and a quiz tomorrow! I hope that it goes well. Please oh pleasee....Grr, I kept getting sleepy while studying today too. I think it would be best if I just rest now. I'm bracing myself for a long day tomorrow.

Ahh I just found out that my car is part of the Toyota/Lexus recall. I hope nothing bad happens when I drive, that would be terrible!!!

I felt so tired today..my eyes felt heavy and dry. I also didn't feel smart in class. I think my brain wasn't working today when we did that chaotic polling in class. I continued to do more pledge stuff throughout the day by getting signatures. But really, all I could think about was studying. Study study! I have so much studying to do. I saw my quiz grades from last week and they went better than I thought they would and they were pretty good..so just have to keep working! I need more time I think. I seriously never know where the time goes sometimes.

After church today we got Five Guys and the burger tasted yummier than usual and I even waited like an hour before eating it! I think I found my fave combo of toppings. I spent so much time filling out pledge stuff today. A LOT of time. It was a lot of writing too. yay....... . . .

I'm happy that the Charger's won today though! Go Bolts! Also heard that Cal dropped to #24 :( How sad. From #6 to #24. Ouch. That game yesterday was terrible though!

I have a lot of studying to do for my exams this week! I wonder why I'm doing some things sometimes...Idk, I think it'll be worth it?

I went to a different Safeway today because I thought that the drive would be faster. I think the drive may have been faster but the distance was further. I guess I can go back and forth between Safeways or something haha.

Unfortunately, Cal lost big time today! It was disgustingly embarrassing!!!!! They didn't show the game over here but I was following online through a game tracker and it was just so ugly. I have no idea why they were so bad. That was sucky. Come on bears!

My studying progress was just okay today. When I think about it, all those quizzes have prevented me from falling behind in lecture material. I guess that's good..but I still need to review lots.

What are 3 one worded descriptions about me that start with J?! haha

This morning felt like the longest morning ever! A lot was running through my mind because I couldn't make up my mind about a lot of things like if I was going to join a professional fraternity or not and what I was going to do during my afternoon. So it turns out that I'm pledging to join Kappa Psi. Wasn't sure about the whole situation..but it's cool....-

This afternoon I visited the University of Maryland College Park campus for the first time to play football with my friend because she plays. It was cool. The campus seems nice. I didn't get the tour yet but one day I will haha. I like how the leaves on the trees are changing color! It was pretty..the colors on the leaves will probably change even more. Yay. Yeah football was cool too. Used to just watching it rather than playing it but it felt good to catch the ball and stuff. It made me miss playing basketball and holding practices with my awesome team, the Magic! Good times. Afterwards we got wings and fries! Yum!!! I had fun talking with my friends :)

But...something extremely SCARY happened tonight. I was stupid and made a little detour and as I was turning, driving correctly and following all driving rules, a car came driving fast in my direction. If the car didn't break fast (their tires screeched) and if I didn't drive fast enough turning, then we would have gotten hit badly I think. Oh my gosh and there was a car to the right of me, so we would have gotten sandwiched. Ah, to think what could have happened there! So scary!!! Oh man, I would feel TERRIBLE if my friend got hurt too :( That would have been so bad. I'm a bit traumatized. Like when they were coming at us/breaking, I swear I felt like a huge wind hitting me from them breaking/I felt like I saw an accident. Bright lights. It was frightening. I'm scared!!
Man o man, I'm so thankful that we didn't get into an accident. Thank you God!! I'm so thankful for everything and to be alive. I need to do something good for a long time now.

Lecture today wasn't so bad and I was sort of productive today. But.....
Fun night at Camden! :)

Today was such a long and tiring day and I'm surprised that I'm still up. Well, I am alive! My day basically went like this: 5 quizzes first thing in the morning, followed by 4 lectures in a row, a little lunch break, another quiz, and then 3 hours of abilities lab. It was very tiring! I hope that the quizzes went well! I'm happy that they're over. It was such a LONG day.

But tonight was fun! I went with some friends to Cheesecake Factory and I ate a lot. I feel fat now. The red velvet cheesecake is so good. MmmM. Haha, I can't wait to exercise tomorrow. Then I watched GLEE. Haha it was really funny and cute. Single ladies! Oh my gosh, wow I can't believe they actually danced that but I liked the happy ending..well sort of for some people. Then to make my night even more enjoyable, I watched this season's premiere of HIMYM. Oh my gosh, it was so good!!!! HAHAHA. PROF..F..E..HAHAHA. That was a great episode. I love that show. I tried to work on something just now, I don't know why, I kind of don't know how to relax. But I am calling it a night now since I have class in the morning. So tired.

I feel like my head is going to explode. I'm probably just tired. I know I'm on information overload and I think it's making my brain expand, thus, making my head get bigger, perhaps making it a possibility that my head will pop. Haha okay, no, but yeah I hope everything that I've studied over the past few days STICKS during all SIX (6, YES) of my quizzes tomorrow! Woot! It will be quite the quiz-alicious day. I'm so tired and my eyes are burning.

I really need to do something about my hunger problem in class. It's not a pleasant feeling at all. I will convince my body and mind that snacks do not make me more hungry. Anyways, the internet was down pretty much the whole time during lecture and it drove me nuts! I really wanted to connect to the internet. Oh well, I guess it made me pay attention more..well maybe. I also went to a professor's office for the first time this semester. They say that he's the freaky professor. But it was an okay and funny experience when I went with some friends. I also continued with the studying for my quiz-alicious Wednesday coming up. I know I missed out on a lot tv tonight. TV is back! Lets see tonight they had How I met your mother, One tree hill, Dancing with the Stars, Heroes, Big Bang Theory, Gossip Girl. Wowza. I'm excited for when I get to catch up with those shows..uhm probably winter break? :) Study udy udy

The Chargers lost to the Baltimore Ravens today. It was a frustrating game to watch because the Chargers would get so close to the goal but then they would get stopped and would have to settle for a field goal. It got really close in the end, but the Chargers weren't able to score a TD. It was fun texting my friend though who is a Ravens fan. The Ravens are a good team though. I'm happy I can cheer for them again now since they won't be playing my team the Chargers. A couple people asked me today if I'm going to cheer for the Chargers and of course I did! Chargers will always and forever be my number one team haha.

Besides the Chargers, I seriously studied the whole day. Study study!! I even studied (and was surprisingly fairly productive) during the game. I couldn't watch the game anyways b/c every time I looked at the screen something bad would happen.

I started to get overwhelmed today while studying because I realized how much stuff I need to review! But I'm starting to feel better right now because after the panic, I powered through a lot of things so that was good. Now I just hope that I will remember everything. I better! I'm tired.